I'm excited to have Michelle as my guest poster today for my Relief Society Celebration! I've been following her blog, Scenes from the Wild, for awhile and it is one of my favorites. Mostly, because she gives me hope. Hope that maybe someday this wild family of mine might look something like hers does, with amazing grown and growing up children, a strong family culture and enthusiasm for the small things. So thank you Michelle!
As women in the Relief Society, we are life-long learners, life-long teachers. Today I'm focusing on raising kids who love to learn, but everything in here applies to ourselves.
When I asked my 14 and 16 year old separately on their ideas on raising smart kids I expected them to cite all sorts of examples such as reading books, learning a musical instrument, visiting the library etc. I was surprised by their nearly identical answer– “be prepared to be very different.” My older boys, my nieces and girls in my neighborhood confirmed the same idea: it's hip to be too cool for school.
How did we get here? In the past, education was highly valued. When did “smart” equate with “uncool”? And doesn’t every parent want to raise intelligent, creative children– boys and girls.
If you’ve read this far, you’re the kind of parent who cares about education, so I’ll offer up my best tips.
Take time to educate yourself. I’d placed this further down on the list, but my boys insisted nothing could be more important. When parents love learning, their kids will love it too. Read the paper, listen to the radio, teach yourself an instrument, (a language, any new skill), read books and talk about them, study the scriptures and enthusiastically share your ideas. My husband is the best example of this I’ve ever seen. He often says he doesn’t think he’s particularly smart; he just takes the time to learn. He’s always reading out loud something from Jewish World Review, citing a story he heard on NPR or studying books on economics and history. His example fuels my kids passion for knowledge. Learning isn’t a ‘program’ or occasional activity; it’s our family culture, it’s what we do.
Believe your child is brilliant. Shinichi Suzuki oft repeated, “Every child can learn.” while Einstein quipped, “Every child is born a genius.” Not every child can become a concert violinist or a nuclear physicist, but they CAN learn. We need to believe in our children’s abilities. Teach your child bits of foreign language, math, science, music…
Read to your kids. This advice has been given so often and expanded on so many times, I won’t belabor the issue. Just don’t stop reading to your kids when they learn to read themselves– they still crave your voice and your attention.
Turn off the TV. Again, this may seem a bit obvious, but lack of TV does more than free up time for reading and practicing the piano. By avoiding commercial television, you also avoid modern stereotypes. My kids don’t see the goofy, crude men in beer commercials and sit coms, because they don’t see commercials or sit coms at all. With the advent of Netflix streaming we can no longer claim to be TV free– my kids have caught up on all kinds of series on my computer, but at least Netflix demands a conscious choice–not mindless flipping through channels. My fourteen year old tells me the gifted program at his school is full of kids who don’t have cable TV. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.
Buy books. Go to the library, borrow from friends, but make sure you have plenty of books in your home. I’ve heard expense cited as an excuse, but with garage sales, used book stores and the library close-out shelf, you can easily amass a decent library for $10 a month. It’s important to have books where you can fold the corners, write in the margins and read over and over like revisiting an old friend.
Read your kids' books. At first, I did this as a precaution for my ambitious little readers. I wanted to make sure their books were age appropriate (handing my son Schindler’s List at age ten was NOT a good idea). But as they got older my children began to hand me books they’d read and loved. By reading their choices I was able to discuss themes and plotlines with them and because I listened to their recommendations, they were more willing to listen to mine. I’ve read all the Artemis Fowl, Pendragon, Fablehaven and Incarceron series my boys love. They’ve introduced me to Brandon Sanderson’s fantasy novels and spy books like Alex Ryder. I’ve learned to enjoy these genres I’d never found interesting before and I believe many of the best modern writers are penning children’s and young adult fiction. In return they’ve been much more willing to read masterpieces such as Peace Like a River, A Tale of Two Cities, Les Miserables and anything and everything from C.S. Lewis. In fact, any time my kids are grouped together reading (filling every couch and chair) one of them will be holding a C.S. Lewis book.
Play an instrument. Note the emphasis on play. You don’t need to raise the next Mozart (we all know his father was bit overbearing) but thousands of studies have shown the value in learning music. In my own home, I’ve seen musical training teach children sensitivity, math skills, the ability to work hard. Yes, music lessons and instruments can be expensive but there are a thousand ways to navigate costs. Trade skills with a friend, take advantage of community programs, practice on the widow’s piano next door…
When your child finds an interest, run with it! Nothing hastens learning more than personal enthusiasm. Obsessed with dinosaurs? Check out every dinosaur book in the library and visit your local Natural History Museum. Rocks, trains, animals, space– same drill. Just don’t be surprised when they drop that interest and move on to the next.
Use the internet for good. Yes, the www can drain all our time and energy, but the educational resources are tremendous. Any time my boys are on the computer you can bet they are competing on DuoLingo to see who can learn the most French, German and Spanish, listening to a TED talk, studying on Khan Academy or watching a science or history video on YouTube (they also visit facebook and play mindless tank games too). Truly, I detested YouTube until my boys showed me these incredible videos explaining difficult concepts: minutephysics, Veritasium, CGPGrey, The Art of Manliness, ViHart and VSauce. The Piano Guys, StudioC and mormon.org are favorites too.
If you only click one of these links, check out Khan Academy— hands down the best, free educational resource on the planet. Need math tutoring? Confused by the French Revolution? Khan has it all. I cannot recommend it highly enough.
Last, Own It. I’ll admit, for years, I encouraged my boys to keep their brains under a bushel– “don’t raise your hand too often.” Stefan hid it so well, his track coach asked if he was thinking of going to college (he's a Monson scholar at BYU). And while it’s never wise to brag or act superior to anyone else, it’s fine to admit you like learning. At the beginning of Hans’ sophomore year, he noticed no one was answering the teachers’ questions. He was often the lone sophomore in a class full of juniors and seniors, but he decided to raise his hand whenever he knew the answer. Soon, the entire class was participating.
When we shine, we allow others to do the same. Let's make smart cool again. I’m convinced our generation of parents can raise the most intelligent and creative wave of children the world has yet to witness.