Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Someone asked me awhile ago where my blog fit into the blogosphere? Are you a mommy blog? A religious blog? A lifestyle blog? A feminist blog? A craft blog? A cooking blog? A family blog? A platform blog?
I didn't really know what to say. I realized that I don't really fit anywhere.
Which makes me weird.
Usually, I am okay with weird.
But lately I have been having what Jon calls my "fat arm" syndrome.
I usually feel really good about my body but I have a bad habit of comparing the size of my arms to other women's. For days afterwards I pinch and prod my arms hoping they will some how change shape. They never do, but still I worry about them.
It is just one of those ridiculous games that girls make up to make themselves miserable.
Blogging is a crazy thing because it is SO easy to compare yourself to others. It is all too easy to get caught up in things that are not real. Here is what my blogging "fat arm" crisis sounds like recently:
"Oh, she is so much more popular than me. What am I doing wrong?"
"Why does she have 100,000 of followers, she isn't even nice!"
"Oh, her blog design is cuter? Maybe I need a makeover."
" Her pictures are better than mine. My life looks normal and doesn't have a foggy glow around it."
"She's doing what!? Why wasn't I invited?"
"If I only had as much time to work on my blog as she does, then I'd be better."
"Her life looks much more exciting than mine, why do I feel like I am falling apart?"
"She is doing all the important things, nothing I do matters to anyone.
You get the picture.
I have had days the last few months where I wished I was someone else and that this blog was something different than what it is.
I want to be a beautiful mommy blog, whose life is so beautiful professional photographers beg to follow them around.
I want to be a witty and funny blog and make people laugh.
I want to be crafty and be able to come up with ideas people will pin 1,000 times.
I want to write things that will change the world.
I want to be her.
I want, I want, I want...
But then I remember why I am writing this blog.
It isn't for me.
It isn't really about me.
It is about doing what the Lord asked me to do and pointing people towards Him. It is about reminding women that God loves them and that the answers they seek for are there.
And the truth is that my type of blog probably won't attract the attention of the world, or make me a nice salary, but it is who I am and what the Lord wants me to be doing.
I just need to stop comparing myself to others.