We are really excited about this new baby coming! Yet no one is really more excited about this baby than Rose. She and this baby have a special connection. Several months ago, before I even knew I was pregnant, at dinner she got a big smile on her face, pointed over my shoulder and started to say "baby, baby, baby, baby" over and over again. She was obviously looking at someone but there was no one there. Then even before we told the kids that we were having another baby Rose would come up to me several times a day, lift up my shirt, pat my tummy and say "baby". It totally floored me because 1) how did she KNOW that I was having baby when we hadn't breathed a word of it to the kids and 2) how does a 22-month-old know that babies grew inside women's stomachs (well the general area)? She really seems to be able to sense this little baby's spirit strongly and it has been such a blessing to me. At Christmas time I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks and so this whole pregnancy I've been terrified of loosing this baby too. Yet, knowing that Rose can see and feel someone in our home has given me such peace. It amazes me how close to the veil and the spirit little children are... it is too bad we seem to lose that as we grow older.
My husband's family always chooses "womb names" for babies before they are born and we've named this baby "Apricot". We aren't going to find out the gender this time either. We've known with both of our others but I figure that since we already have a boy and girl I am prepared either way. I've had several doula clients and friends not find out the gender and it is so much fun to see them discover it at the birth. It really is special and I'd sort of like to try it that way this time.
I'm about 16 weeks along am and starting to feel much better, even though I am so tired! I've been telling my husband that I haven't been very "productive" these days but that I am being very "reproductive"! It just boggles my mind to think that my body is working hard to assemble the most complex of all organisms on this earth-- another human soul-- without my mind even being aware of it. It is such a miracle.